day 15

now to update on my fantastic existance. im still shocked to this day that she chose me. i hope for her it was worth it. i know shes happy with me like i am with her, but no one really knows her true feelings like she does. im afraid she has doubts, i dont think she does, but i know there is the possibility that she does and it kills me. she reassures me all of the time that shes happy so i know she is, its just i feel i could do more, like im not living up to the expectations of me for her. i just started working yesterday and the only thing i could think about the whole day is how i can actually take her on nice dates, and do things now that i have money. eventually ill be able to pick HER up and not her pick me up, but thats not money, thats months. i only have my permit. yeah, im 20 and only just have my permit. i want to take her downtown and we can eat some sushi. and after that go eat some yummy mint chocolate-chip icecream, our favorite, or watch a movie or anything cus i have money, finally. the job is fun too, like i clean up military homes that were recently moved out of, on base. all of the people i work with are cool people. lol my boss ms. betty called me joey allllll dayyyyy, im expecting it today too. im actually waiting for her son to pick me up on his way into work... so i must go. i love you ms. darling.